Home buyers and sellers that we have a special connection with like to invite us to their housewarmings, baby showers, graduations, dinner parties, wedding, golf outings and sometimes even an event related to their business. I’m always honored to be invited, but first impressions in social situations can endear you deeper to them or undo all the effort you’ve made to capture the client. And with some events a social in nature, it’s easy to cross some lines, but tread carefully before you do. Here are some hints to make your foray into the personal lives of your clients a positive one.
-When an R.S.V.P. is requested, do it in a timely manner. R.S.V.P. means yes or no, forget maybes. Often the host or hostess needs a headcount for reservations or food preparation.
-If the invitation doesn’t have your children’s names on it, they’re not invited. Some events are for adults only.
-Arrive on time or no more than fifteen minutes late. If traffic is holding you up, call and let the host or hostess know. Events such as weddings call for punctuality, period.
-If you RSVP’d yes, and you don’t show or call, you have blown someone’s important event off. You’re in trouble socially, send flowers and a believable apology, and cross your fingers.
-Turn off your cell phone. I’ve gone to many a party where other real estate agents are there, and guests have said to me they thought it was rude that the agent spent the whole time on the phone. And was negotiating a contract and all the other guests heard the terms of the transaction, and most of them knew the buyer or the seller. It’s a small world.
-Dress appropriately.If you’re not sure how to dress, over dress for an event. You’ll feel less obvious if you over -dress.
-Formal. Black tie (tuxedo) for men, floor length gowns for women.
-Black tie preferred, optional or invited. Tuxedo is the preferred choice for men, if the man does wear a tux then the women should be in a formal floor length gown. However if the man does not wear a tux, he will wear a dark suit, white shirt and conservative tie. A women in this case will wear a short dinner gown or an evening suit, a skirt with matching jacket.
-Dressy casual. Dress pants with matching jackets but no tie for men and dresses or dark pantsuits for women.
-Business casual. Pressed dress pants or khaki twills with a collared shirt, but no tie. Never wear jeans to a business casual event. Socks and belts required for men. Women can wear pants or skirts with hose and a collared shirt. No flip-flops.
-Casual. Typically anything goes, but if you have never been with the host or hostess and it says casual, it’s better to over-dress to you have a better understanding of how they define casual.
-Don’t drink too much. You know what I mean. You should look at this as business, moderation rules.
-Don’t swear, talk about politics or religion. Consider them quick-sand.
-Bring a host or hostess a gift for a dinner party. A nice box of chocolates or a bottle of wine is enough.
-Don’t be the last one to leave, or be asked to leave. Don’t laugh it happens all the time.
-If the event call for a gift, such as a wedding, shower or graduation, don’t over-spend. You want a mid-priced gift. Excessive gifts make the recipient uneasy.
-Send a thank-you note by snail mail within a week of the event. Purchase some nice stationary, write a couple of sentences, place your business card inside. Don’t use business stationary.
-Introduction etiquette. A less important person is introduced to a VIP. A man is introduced to a woman. A younger person is introduced to an older person.
-Talk to others to get them to talk about themselves. Ask follow-up questions and don’t interrupt. A first time question is: How do you know the host or get involved in the organization? Second time at an event: I remembered you from last time, how is business, family, and your vacation?
-Prepare your verbal business card in advance, who are you? Always use your first and last name with action words to describe your business. Mark Nash, sales award winning real estate broker and author of four books. Keep it short, but with enough information that people can ask you follow up questions.
- If a newcomer joins your group weave them into the conversation, they’ll appreciate it. Don’t ask yes or no questions.
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